bleh...

So, I've been waiting to post again until I had an update to give. However, we still have not heard any news about the house, hence this post's title. It pretty much describes my mood this past week. As my husband said, "My, my, you're a pleasure!" Yes, we are quite sarcastic with one another. 

We have been living with some friends, and they have been wonderful, sharing their home, refrigerator, and lives with us. But I, in my heart at least, have been a bundle of nerves. My anxiety level is high. My stuff isn't where it's supposed to be! My routine and schedule have been hijacked! I am simply not myself, and it feels like I am falling apart. But God is gracious and he hasn't allowed that to happen yet.

I will admit that I've given up on the possibility of house-sitting. It's taking too much out of me to keep hoping for it. I just want a place to call our own. And I wish I knew what the purpose of all this is, but sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to make something of nothing. We chose to wait for this house. Did we just make the wrong choice? Or is it just a choice? Is there no right and wrong, at least in this situation? My husband pointed out the other day that maybe he had been guilty of pride by thinking he knew what God was up to. If we do A and B, then he will deliver C. After all, hasn't he always done that in our lives? 

I think that when we look back on our lives, we can make out a sort of pattern for how God works--meaning how he guides us each in our individual lives. But is that a pattern we see only because we need patterns and routine? Is our God not much more profound than the boundaries of our imaginations?

As is most likely obvious, I don't know what to make of this time. I'm confused. And maybe that is exactly where the Lord wants me to be.