moved in

So, we've officially moved into our little apartment. Let the savings begin! It really is quite small--750 square feet to be exact. Thank God for storage facilities. However confined I might feel, though, I am beginning to enjoy some aspects of the smallness:


1. Less to clean! Need I say more?


2. No need to run up and down the stairs a bazillion times a day. Savannah's room, our room, the laundry nook, and kitchen are all within my view. I just have to stand in the middle of the apartment to see into (and most of) each area!


3. Less stuff. This is the one that has kept me thinking the past few days. If an interior decorator were to come to my living room, she would have a conniption; everything is mismatched. Dark wood desk and bookcase go together from our loft area in the house; cherry end table from living room; dark green couch; beige and honey wood glider from Savy's room; and big ol' TV on a small table that is older than Chaz--we sold our old TV stand that matched the desk and bookcase because we thought we wouldn't need it. I have no idea how to make the room easier on the eye. 


So, if I can't change what we have then I am left with two options: complain for however long we live here (which could be years) and make my husband a grump who, in turn, complains to his buddies how ungrateful his wife is; or I can change my perspective. 


You see, we really do miss our house. It was us and we worked hard to make it look beautiful and reflect our tastes. But a house and possessions cannot define a person. While this move was intended solely to save us money so that we could become better stewards, it is also forcing us (or me more accurately) to give up the cyclical doom of "keeping up with the Joneses." I am not saying that you could have put our lives in Pottery Barn catalog, but I was always keeping tabs on the lifestyles of my friends and acquaintances in Suburbia. In short, this move has been humbling in many ways. My favorite motto is "It could always be worse," and I certainly agree with that in this situation. We are so thankful for all that we have. But I need to face the fact that I've taken a big blow to my pride and to the control over my life that I once thought I had. 


Jesus said, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21). I'm beginning to see this verse in a new way. I can admit that my lifestyle, instead of my relationship with Christ, was beginning to define me--at least that was the thorn beginning to form in my heart. When I look at where my life is now, I am disappointed. I'm not sure what I thought my life would look like at this point, but it didn't look like this. 


But God's perspective is vastly different. He sees what I cannot see--the treasures we are laying up in Heaven. While I look around and focus on mistakes and regrets, God sees this moment as a small blip on my lifeline. He looks ahead to the plans he has for me and my family. Will I choose to trust him and continue to walk forward with the knowledge that "all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose"? (Romans 8:28). The answer is simple: I must. When he called me to himself, he put that trust in me and has been helping me to discover it ever since. I have to remember that what I do does not matter unless I do it "all to the glory of God" (1 Cor. 10:31). 


It's funny how things are so opposite in the Christian life. While my life might look like a mess on the outside, God is forming it into something that is greatly pleasing to him. Lord, help me believe.